Gratitude . . . Reflection

So one of the things I took away from "The Secret" was the act of gratitude. Giving thanks each and every day for things in your life you are grateful for. Their suggestion is that just as you put your feet on the floor every morning you take a couple minutes to pause and give thanks for the things that are good in your life. So yesterday and today, that's what I've done.

Last night I had dinner with Brandon. One of the things I gave thanks for this morning were the deep friendships I've formed with Brandon, Chad, Steve and Pepe (Mike). I have lots of guy friends, but these friendships go beyond the "Chug a beer and punch em' in the shoulder" friendship. We are actually able to get to a deeper level with each other and really discuss what's on our minds. What REALLY bugs us and keeps us up at night. And we know we can discuss these things in the strictest of confidence. Not that we have anything in particular to hide, but we know that when we discuss these things, they aren't going out to the rest of the boyz to start a flame thread or anything.

So Brandon, Chad, Steve and Pepe, I'm thankful for you. Thanks for being there, thanks for listening and thank you above all for your support.

Another thing I've been thankful for lately is my lovely fiancé Teri. Over the past two years, we have developed a deeper relationship and I think it shows. So Teri, thank you for being you. Thank you for calling Linda this week. I appreciate your love and support. And I'm telling the whole world, right here.

The next thing that I took away from "The Secret" was the act of reflection. Just as you give thanks when you wake up, when you go to bed, you reflect. Reflect on the days events and if there were any things that went wrong, replay them in your mind how you would have wanted them to go. Now yesterday was a fantastic day for me, so in my first attempt at reflection, I basically just replayed the day as it happened. There wasn't anything I would have changed. But I can see the benefit. Your mind reacts to how things play out in it. So if you replay "bad" things as if they were good, they won't necessarily keep you up at night. I think it'll be a good exercise and one I'll keep up.

And finally, speaking of exercise, I did work out yesterday and today. See my Exercise blog, link to the right ----> for the results of those two workouts.

Workout Results for 2/28/07

2 of 3 down . . . . 1 more to go by Friday. I'm going to get 2 in though. Go a little above and beyond a goal for once!

I did 40 minutes today with a 5 minute cool down. Tied a distance record for me . . . cool.

Here is the workout I completed today:

Cardio
Exercise	Distance	Time
Elliptical Machine	3.23 Miles	45:00 min
Strides	Calories	Heart Rate
6052 Strides	736.7 Calories	144 Avg 163 Max 40:03 in zone

Teri told on me . . .

So yesterday, Teri called my former coach, Linda and told her about my funk. Linda called and we had a really good chat for about 45 minutes, maybe even an hour. It was really good to talk to her and she gave me some good encouragement and some things to shoot for this week. Specifically:

• Prepare for my Open House on Sunday
• Workout at least 3 times (one down, two to go)
• Start delivering my pop-bys (put them all together yesterday)
• Have a beer with Brandon and Steve (All work makes Johnny a dull boy)
• Work on dialogues to be able to convey my value to my clients

It's good to have something to shoot for. It keeps me focused and upbeat. I do appreciate my current coach Donna, but I will admit it was almost a guilty pleasure talking to Linda yesterday. We just seem to connect on a different level. I think Donna and I will get there, we're just not there yet. (Donna, if you ARE reading, I really do appreciate our relationship)

Last night I watched "The Secret" on DVD. It was really pretty good and what I got out of it was that you essentially create your life. If you're constantly beating yourself up and thinking bad thoughts or thinking about what you DON'T want, that's exactly what you'll get. There were some really good life tips in there. Nothing earth shattering, but a good collection of them presented in a way as to make it a "formula" for living life. I liked it. Teri is reading the book and I'm listening to the audio CD's in the car too. It'll be good to keep it in my concious mind for the forseeable future.

Yep, I'm a self professed self help junkie. :-)

Workout Results 2/27/07

OK, I'm workin' out 3 times this week, no ifs ands or buts about it . . .

I did 30 minutes today with no cool down. Felt good to get back on the horse and sweat a bit.

Here is the workout I completed today:

Cardio
Exercise	Distance	Time
Elliptical Machine	2.24 Miles	30:35 min
Strides	Calories	Heart Rate
4244 Strides	520.1 Calories	129 Avg 146 Max 30:16 in zone

Funky IE7 Bug Fixed!

For those of you using IE7, I'm happy to say I've fixed a small bug with my blog that caused the bottom banner to be displayed about 2/3 of the way down the page. IE7 really screws with CSS (Cascading Style Sheets) and a helpful poster on http://nucleuscms.org called "monkeybrain" was enough of a CSS guru to fix the "skin" that I use with my blog to make IE7 display correctly. So enjoy my blog the way it was meant to be seen. ;-)

Down . . . but not out?

So I've been down in the dumps lately. I'm feeling fat. I'm feeling un-loved. I'm feeling useless basically. I don't know why I'm spreading this around on a public forum, other than I hope (maybe) someone will have some suggestions other than "Just do it!" and actually offer something useful. I don't know what it is, but I'm just not motivated by much of anything right now. I bought a cool road bike late last year that I've put about 70 miles on so far, but it feels like I should be around 300 miles. I agreed to do a ride with friends of mine, Steve and Brandon and bailed on it today. Well, really I bailed on it a couple weeks ago, I forgot I had agreed to sit a model home open for a friend of mine. So poor scheduling is somewhat to blame, but I doubt I would have gone anyway. I didn't train at all for it. Brandon took to it like a mad man and put like a thousand miles a day on his bike. OK, maybe a bit of an over exaggeration, but I really felt like I would have just held Brandon and Steve back. So now that the ride is over and Steve has posted his results, I can't help but be happy for them, but inside I'm beating myself up for being such a loser. I should have committed to doing it and I should have trained despite the weather, and despite the little voices in my head. But I didn't. Again.

The housing market is slowing down around the Puget Sound, so this would be a really good time to pick up some new business. You'd think. I have all kinds of ideas for how to build my business and take it to the next level this year, but I'm sitting on the fence not implementing any of them. I'm in the same mode of prior years of just waiting for the business to come to me. Well, it's not that kind of market any longer and I need to get my @$$ in gear and go after it. I don't know whats holding me back, other than me.

In December, Teri and I bought a new Precor elliptical trainer. The thought was I'd be on it 3 days a week for 30 - 60 minutes and get me in shape this year. Well it's been over a month since I've been on it. And it's just down the hall from our bedroom. WTF? I'm in a funk, of epic proportions it would seem. I always feel like the outsider. I think I'm well on my way to my 1st heart attack, a stroke, diabetes, or maybe all 3? I think they call that a trifecta . . . .

Even when Brandon, Steve and I get together for a bike ride, I feel like I'm the odd man out. I feel like I'm holding them back and then I take it personally when the two of them get together for a ride and don't invite me. No matter we live nearly 30 miles apart and they only live a couple miles from each other. I feel like they're saying "we can sneak this one in and not have to wait for John this time" No, I know that's not what they're saying, but still . . .

I feel like Teri and I are not connecting as well as we should be for a couple about to get married (68 days and counting). We had a delightful day yesterday, I thought. We went to the Home Show in Seattle and walked around there for 3 hours. Then we visited "Bodies, The Exhibition" and finally ended up at Tutta Bella for Pizza in Wallingford. It was a good day, but I just feel disconnected from her somehow.

And then there's my weight. It's back up to about 333 . . . and I'm eating as much as ever. I pay like 30 bucks a month for Weight Watchers and 50 for a gym membership and fail to attend either. I have (as of Thursday) cut soda out of my diet however. I'm drinking a lot of water each day and that DOES make me feel better, even slightly. It just seems as though I'm in a rut and have no clue how to get out. I've been listening to positive things on my car stereo. Like Brian Buffini, Jack Canfield, Tony Schwartz, etc. etc. But nothing seems to break through. I'm not sure what it's going to take. I've been told to see a therapist (SS) but I don't want drugs. I don't want happy pills. To me they just cover the problem without ever really solving anything. (My apologies to those of you on happy pills that love them, it's just not for me).

Again, not sure why I'm posting this . . . but I am. Sorry, I know my blog posts are usually pretty upbeat. Sorry to be such a downer. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Ciao. . . .

- j