So a LONG time ago (geez, feels like AGES) I packed up a bunch of clothes in a tote and stored them out in the garage. These were clothes from another John. The skinnier, more confident John. OK, skinny is probably a stretch, but thinner than I have been of late. Teri has been begging me to get the tote down “just to see”. In there are a number of XXL shirts (I usually wear XXXL) and some jeans that are smaller than what I’m currently wearing.
Even though I’ve been pretty faithful to my eating habits this year, working out, losing weight, getting back some of the swagger in my step, I’ve been hesitant to pull that tote down because “what if they don’t fit?”.
This morning I said enough is enough as I pulled on my jeans and after they were buttoned up and zipped, still hit the floor. So I pulled down the tote. I thought I had size 38 jeans in there (I currently wear size 42) but there were only 40’s. So there I am standing in the garage in my underwear (ha! you’ll be stuck with that image all day!) looking through the four or five pairs of jeans in there. I pick out two of the better looking ones and slide the first pair on. The button buttons without much effort and the zipper zips. VICTORY!
OK, so I’m glad there were not 38’s in there. That would have ended up differently, but the fact that the 40’s WERE there and do fit is a nice feeling.
NOW, the hard part is actually taking all my 42’s (and the 44’s in dress slacks), putting them in a bag and taking them to Goodwill. It’s funny how emotional we get about all this. The thoughts that race through my mind “Is this really the last time you’ll need those?” or “Are you REALLY doing it this time?” If you talk to someone that’s been thin all their lives, they’ll simply tell you to just lose the weight and be done with it. They don’t understand the emotional struggle that goes along with losing the weight.
Last night, I met Teri and some friends at the shotgun range. Teri’s friend Kate was there and when she saw me she said “Wow! You look GREAT!” as she gave me a hug. Then went on to say “Oh and you smell good too!” and “I really like your hair that way!”. Validation. From the most innocent of sources. Not asked for, simply given. Is there any sweeter reward?
Gym tonight, or a bike ride. The TV is turning into just another piece of furniture. Awesome.