Staying the Course . . .

I haven't been writing much in my blog lately. I don't really know why. But I suspect it has to do with not achieving my goals as fast as I would like. I've been trying to take comfort in the small victories, but at the same time I've conditioned myself over the years to be a "I want it right now" kind of guy. If I can't have it now, then is it really worth having? But lately I've been trying to look at the big picture and see what it is that I REALLY want in life. I've come to the conclusion that many of the things I thought made me successful and who I am, really don't matter that much to me. The big house, the fancy car, they're just things. They don't define me. The consideration I show others, the encouragement I give, the love I receive, those are the things that are important and what I want to be remembered for.

Lately, I've been stuck on my weight loss goals. Last August, I went in for Lap Band surgery and for the most part have been successful with it. The funny thing is that it still boils down to diet and exercise. The Lap Band is really just a forced diet. And like any diet, you can cheat. And I do. The idea is that with the band, you have it progressively tightened so that you eat slightly less. At some point it gets tight enough that you can still eat enough to sustain yourself (along with protein drinks and supplements) but not so much that you can gain any weight effectively. But you learn what goes down easy and what doesn't. So you start eating more of what goes down easy. For me it's well cooked pasta. Now will someone tell me where the pasta diet book is? Right, there isn't one.

So for the past three or four months since I last had my band adjusted (I actually had it loosened because I wasn't able to get much down) I've been enjoying eating. A Lot. But I've also been exercising. A fair amount. Fortunately over that time, according to my doctor's scale, I actually LOST 0.7 pounds. So pretty much for the past 4 months, I've maintained my weight. If I gained 2-3 pounds, I worked out harder, when I lost the 2-3 pounds, I slacked off. I found a balance. For once. But the weight I was at, was not the weight I wanted to be. Yesterday I visited the doctor again and had my band adjusted. Tightened. I have at least another 60 pounds to lose and I'm hoping 30 of those are by my birthday (08/24 - Start making preparations!).

Also, while I did actually lose some weight, other changes were taking place as well. I bought my first item of clothing without a number in it in God only knows how long. I bought a Sounders jacket that is a size XL. Not 2XL or 3XL, but XL. I consistently wear jeans that are a size 38 and are loose. I've gotten size 36 shorts and pants on, but they're not comfortable . . . yet. (I used to wear size 44). My dress shirts that I bought last year with a size 20 neck are ready to go to Good Will being replaced by my size 18.5 neck shirts. As of this morning, I'm only 7 pounds away from where I was when Teri and I started dating 13+ years ago.

Now I'm trying to celebrate the little things. That I actually LOST 0.7 pounds while pretty much eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted is a victory. My four months of debauchery really wasn't debauchery at all. I knew I could be doing more in terms of watching what I ate and exercising more, but what I thought was debauchery was really "enough". That's a victory. I think I'm FINALLY starting to understand my body. And I'm starting to believe that it's capable of a great many things. A few weeks ago, I went out and did a 50 mile bike ride, while I was spent the rest of the day, it felt good and I felt fine the next day. I'm actually making PLANS to work out and do some races. These are victories. I'm not going to be 220 by tomorrow. But I will be 220.

I know this is a somewhat disjointed post, but it's where I'm at . . . and you know what? I'm OK with that.

Running Conditioning Is Improving . . .

This week I've been to the YMCA 4 times. Three of those times I ran on the Treadmill and one time was for a mile + swim workout. On Wednesday, I picked a cross country program on the treadmill and ran for 40 minutes or so. Thursday was the swim, 500 warmup, 200 kick, 500 pull, 200 kick, 3 X 100 sprints and a 100 IM or 1,800 yards. Friday I did the Runervals 2.0 workout. I still cannot do this workout in it's entirety as designed unless I set my base pace at like 1.5 MPH. But I am doing the whole workout, just when it gets to a 5% incline at 5MPH above base pace, I'm at the 5% and only about 2MPH above BP. This morning, I went back to the Runervals 1.0 workout.

I set my base pace at 4.0 MPH and the first set was unbelievably easy. So for the remainder of the workout, I was at 4.5 MPH for my BP. And on the sets where it started increasing incline, but NOT BP, I increased my BP anyway. And finishing the sets at 7.5MPH at 3% incline were hard, but certainly not so hard they were not doable. So at this point, I'm feeling pretty darn good about my running. And I think it's helping my cycling too. At least I feel good with all the compliments I'm getting from the boyz after a 30 mile ride. Don't know how complimentary they'd be after a 50 - 70 mile ride, but hopefully this summer we find out.

Hoping to get a few more Lbs off before Teri and I head to Vegas in the first week of May . . .

The Funny Thing About Goals . . .

So this year I've set a number of goals for myself, both professionally and personally. I do this every year. I write them down and occasionally I'll even review them to see what I wrote. (Note to self: Set another goal to review goals frequently) I've tried to convince Teri that we should follow the Morelli lead and have a weekend away in January somewhere nice where we can talk about our hopes, dreams and aspirations for the year. As of yet, we haven't done it. Although I think she's starting to come around. I mean who wouldn't want a weekend away with ME? Even if the main focus is goal setting, it would probably be in some romantic ocean side location . . . with dogs. I mean come on . . . ANYWAY . . .

This year I set a goal that reads:

By July 12th, 2010, I will have registered for, competed in and finished the Ocean Shores half-iron triathlon.

After doing the Seattle Rainman Indoor Triathlon yesterday, I don't know how I can possibly achieve that goal. I think honestly by July I COULD get myself in decent enough shape to run/walk a half marathon. I just don't know if I could do said half marathon AFTER swimming 1.2 Miles AND biking 56 miles. So the funny thing about goals is that they can be revised. So as of now, I'm revising my goal to read:

By July 12th, 2010, I will have registered for, competed in and finished the Ocean Shores Olympic distance triathlon.

I felt pretty good about my results in the indoor tri yesterday:
Swim: 15 minute pool swim, I set a goal to do 750 yards, I did 900.
Bike: 30 minute bike on a trainer, I set a goal to do 8.5 miles, I did 8.2. Although I didn't know our transition time would be part of the 30 minutes, so I really only rode for about 25 minutes . . . I think I could have easily done the additional 0.3 miles in 5 minutes.
Run: One 2.8 mile lap around Greenlake. My goal was to do this in 31 minutes. I think it was close to 33 or 34 minutes, but we were delayed by a minute plus by police action. So I'll call it 33 minutes.

Last week I ordered a book by Jeff Galloway on Running. I know I suck at Running . . . at least I do now . . . I used to be a fairly decent runner. I know two things about my running now if I want to improve. Getting the pounds off my frame will go a long ways. I need to increase my endurance. I know trying to push a 280 pound frame is going to wear down my legs a lot faster than a 220 pound frame or even a 250 pound frame. So I've got to start getting in the gym more frequently and REALLY starting to pay attention to what I eat and using the tools I have to get the pounds off.

Remembering Mr. Kitty

So last night was a hard night. We do have one thing to be thankful for though and that is the services of Dr. Shannon West-Wilke. Dr. West-Wilke is akin to a saint in my book. She has a mobile veterinary clinc, yes, she does house calls. So yesterday after playing phone tag a couple of times, Dr. WW said she could come by between 8 and 9PM. We made the arrangements.

I came home yesterday and checked on Mr. Kitty, hoping that he had improved even slightly. He hadn't. I fed the dogs and the other two cats knowing Teri would want to feed Kitty one last time. I did some busy work in the back yard and after Teri got home, I mowed the front and rear lawn. Neither of us spoke much about what was coming. But I made Teri a couple of lemon drops just the same. At about 7:30, we shut off the TV. I went upstairs and got the red blanket that Kitty has been sleeping on for the past few nights right by my side. I scooped him up and went back to my chair and just sat there with my cat. I got to say all the things I wanted to and he just purred the whole time. It was hard just sitting there with him knowing what was coming. But it was good and it was right too.

I realized last night that in the whole 10 - 11 years that I've "owned" my cat, that's all he ever really wanted. Just someone to sit there with him and pet him. Never really asking for anything else, just some occasional attention. And that's the great thing about pets. They give so much and ask for so little. And they don't even really realize they're giving YOU anything. And I guess for the most part, we don't realize it either. It's just a perfect symbiotic relationship. Two beings existing together, each getting and giving just what they need, but so much more all at the same time.

When I met Mr. Kitty in the pet shop off 38th Street in Tacoma, he was on loan from the humane society. He was in his little cage and Teri and I were in there for something else. What it was I couldn't quite remember. But my roommate, Brandon, had suggested to me a couple weeks before "Maybe we should get a kitten?". I don't think Mr. Kitty is quite what he had in mind. Kitty passed the wheelie test. (One of my requirements for cats is that when you put your hand above them, they sit up on their haunches and reach for you. It's a mark of intelligence really.) That was enough for me, I made the arrangements and he came home with me. (Oddly enough, Turkish, one of our other cats was found at the Chevy's on 38th as well, weird that two cats came from the same street) When I went down to the humane society to register him, they asked what his name was. I wasn't really fond of the name "Mr. Kitty" so I changed it to Bowser. Brandon and I tried everything to get him to recognize "Bowser" as his name, but in the end, "Mr. Kitty" it was. Fortunately Teri and I were dating by then, so I never had to explain to any potential dates "This is my cat, Mr. Kitty".

Mr. Kitty was for all intents and purposes an indoor cat. But, occasionally he'd sneak out and earn himself a trip to the vet. The odd thing about him was that when he was fighting, he NEVER used his claws. I could screw with that cat all day long and NEVER worry about losing an ounce of blood. (Don't even ask me about Nicholas, our OTHER cat) He ended up getting in a tussle or two with "Devo", Mike's Whippit Mix (Get it? Whippit? Devo? Never mind) and off to the vet we'd go to repair some puncture or another. (The thing with Whippits is they're lightning fast and in some cases can leap a 7 foot tall fence in a single bound) Eventually though, Devo and Mr. Kitty would become the best of friends. Mr. Kitty would lay by the back sliding glass door in the sun and Devo would saunter over, open the door for Mr. Kitty, let him out so he could go INSIDE and lay down. See? Symbiotic relationships abound. One tussle with a neighbor's cat landed him with FIV, the feline equivalent of HIV. For the most part he lived with that disease for many years without complications. Occasionally, his eye would weep and that was his "Kitty AIDS" acting up, we'd get him a shot and he'd be back to normal.

When Teri and I merged our families, Nicholas and Princess (the dog) came to live with us. Nicholas wasted no time in establishing the pecking order. Nick, Princess and Mr. Kitty. They all settled in quite nicely with each other. Then Teri and I were out to dinner at Chevy's one night and I made the mistake of saying "There's a cat by the car". I knew as soon as I said it, we would now be a three cat family. Turkish came home with us and now the three cats and one dog fought for the order again. Nick won out, followed by Princess and Mr. Kitty held his own to put Turkish on the bottom even without using claws to fight (much). One of Kitty's quirks is that in the middle of the night he'd start to howl. It'd be 2AM and you'd awaken to this awful howling cat. The first few tims it would happen, I'd jump up and see who was attacking my cat. But it was just Kitty being Kitty. He just wanted to know someone was there. So then it bacame yelling out "KITTY!" and he'd shut up.

After we moved into the new home, Teri started letting the cats out in the back yard and they became indoor/outodoor cats. I'll tell you one thing, there aren't too many "other" cats that venture into our yard anymore. With the band of brothers on patrol, the place was pretty locked down. After Princess passed on (Thank you again Dr. West-Wilke), the pecking order remained . . . for awhile. Then Taylor came along and somewhat usurped Kitty's spot. I'll say they at least SHARED the role of keeping Turkish on the bottom. You'd be surprised though how dogs and cats can get along. They all would chase each other around the house and have a grand ol' time. It's better than TV for entertainment, I'll say that! Recently our menagerie grew to include Dixie, the 6 year old Yellow Lab. So lately we've been a 3 cat and 2 dog family. The humans are definitely out numbered! But it's a good family.

Shortly after the first of the year, Kitty had an ingrown claw. I took him to the vet to have it taken care of. The vet pulled the claw out and I'm not sure who ended up more bloody in that battle, Kitty or the vet, but the vet DEFINITELY had some self-repairing to do after that. "Hmmm, I guess he DOES know how to use his claws after all" I thought on the way home that day. After a couple weeks, the paw wasn't getting a whole lot better and started to get worse. With his FIV, he just couldn't fight off the infection. Teri put him through two rounds of anti-biotics (she's nominated for saint-hood too. If anyone has ever tried to give a cat a pill, you know what I mean) and he'd get better for awhile and then not. The last couple of weeks have been tough. Watching my little buddy waste away, not eating, not drinking, but always there for the pets and purring. I was selfish, I know that now. I should have helped him along a lot sooner. But I'm thankful for the time we had and I know that wherever he is now, he's in a much better place and in no pain. Probably doing lots of wheelies for my grandparents. :-) Mr. Kitty was one of a kind. Certainly a good friend and companion to me for better than a decade. I just hope I gave him as good as I got. Stay warm Mr. Kitty, we miss you buddy. See you again someday eh?

For my 500th post, I'd like to thank . . .

It's amazing to me that this is the 500th time I've posted something on this blog. After noticing last week that I was posting my 499th time, I've been reflecting on what should be my 500th blog post? Should I do a re-cap of the highlights of my 500 posts? Should I just post some dumb workout I've done? How about reflecting on life, the universe and everything? How about a little bit of all of it?

If you look to the right (if you're in an RSS reader, you probably won't see this) you'll see my archives go all the way back to August of 2005. 4 and a half years posting to some website. In that time, there have only been 4 months that I haven't posted anything. But at least one post every other month. I've always said I have a problem with consistency, but I guess this blog shoots that theory out the window. I can be consistent when I feel like it's worth it. And for some odd reason, I feel like this blog is worth it.

The original intent of my blog was simply a place to collect my thoughts, maybe record a workout or two and keep track of my weight. It was also meant to be somewhat private. A few close friends would know it was there, but for the most part, it would be something I kept to myself. I found that was quickly not going to happen. When I started receiving comments and web traffic from all over the world (not consistently, but frequently) I realized it was no longer a private situation. I'd like to think that I didn't change my posting habits as a result, but that would be lying to myself and you. I no longer put my deepest, most intimate thoughts here, I keep those locked away for only a chosen few, but I do express myself pretty freely here and let you see the good and the bad.

For example, you've gotten to see my weight in all it's undulating and fluctuating glory. From my high of 356 pounds last year to my low of 275 pounds fairly recently. I've blogged about having weight loss surgery and the mental and physical implications of that. I've talked about triumphs and defeats in my business. About my joys and sometimes my dis-satisfaction in my personal life. My workouts have been detailed in excruciating detail at times, giving you charts, maps, distances and reps. I've shared my immediate and some of my long term goals. And through it all, people from all over the place have been nothing but encouraging. OK, there have been a few detractors, I won't lie. For the most part, I've kept every comment ever posted, good or bad. With one exception, comment spam (I'm tired of WoW power leveling what ever that is and UGG BOOTS!). The comment spam has unfortunately lead me to disable comments on my blog. So I'll miss your kind words of encouragement. But now with my blog getting pushed out to Facebook, my friends will have the opportunity to comment there.

So for my 500th blog post, I'd like to thank the Internet and the wonderful community of friends it's helped to create and the friendships it's helped to further. I can still remember wayyyyyy back in 1994 or so sending my very first e-mail to Scott at WSU. It was the first e-mail I had ever sent outside of Boeing and our little network. On a VT20 terminal emulator with phosphorous orange type that I'm sure gave me radiation poisoning. Coming from that world of sending purely text based e-mail to today and the amazing amount of ways we have to stay in touch with friends old and new, just staggers my mind. And to think, it's really only a 15 year old journey now. Imagine what we'll see in 2020 or 2030! Maybe by then you'll be reading my 5,000th post?

Thanks everyone, so far it's been an amazing ride! I can't wait to see what's next!